The Official ~NoHunters Free-For-All Rules of ConductAn interpretation of ancient texts by the layman GrethIntroduction:
At the beginning of all things Starcraft a group of Internet dwellers formed a community. It was a strange tribal society that developed what some say to be 'the perfect Online Community'. Although impossible to explain so plainly without the use of poetry, flashing CGI effects and near lethal doses of LSD, I will say this:
Their language was based on the usage of expletives and using their own names as derogatory terms. They created new words out of old expletives etc... This effectively closed them off from civilized society and allowed them to thrive, in their own special way.
There was virtually no history of violence or hate. None of the discussions or online fights held any real world value. Religion, race, sexuality, all of these were used to 'communicate' and to 'identify' members of the tribe; without consequence.
Eventually tensions did rise. Fights did break out, but the tribe had found an ingenious method of preserving their peaceful cussing way of life.
You, the reader, will now gaze upon a ritual device that has been used by this highly developed tribe for the duration of Starcraftian history. Use it wisely.The Set-UpPlayers:
Every map in existence may be used – EXCLUDING HUNTERS IN ANY FORM. Using hunters will cause the Mighty Bengalaas God of all things Starcraft to reign down on you with the powers of terror, nuclear explosions, lightning spitting and acid belching!
Each participant should be connected by a VoIP
device (this rule has been added to improve the experience, this is obviously not a part of the ancient texts).No third party hacks
may be used, all rules discussed below only have jurisdiction within the game itself, not outside the intended programming. Again, if you fail to comply, the Mighty Bengalaas will do nasty things to you.The RulesRule 1:
There are no rules. Not even this one, it's just a placeholder telling you that there are no rules. So reading this was completely and utterly pointless.Explanation of the lack of rules:
So you are confused? Ok... It's ok. We can't all be born with an IQ over 70.
Everything goes. Every tactic. Every rush. Every piece of filthy rotten cheese that your fudged up brain can think of. Every humiliating, torturing sleazy bit of disgusting Starcraft you dare put your hands on.
Form alliances, backstab, it doesn't matter. Once the counter hits zero you enter a different dimension. One where you have no friends and are only fighting to survive. Everything can be said, done and plotted. Everything you say on VoIP, chat or maybe even a quick phonecall or e-mail. Everything goes. Say GG and not mean it, back off and build up a deathfleet of carriers. It's allowed. Think of it, it's ALLOWED
.Code Of Conduct
One thing should be made clear. Once the timer hits zero everything can be said and done. But when the game is over all those participating have to let go. The FFA takes place in a different instance of existence, what happens in the FFA stays in the FFA and it is not to be taken seriously. If you cannot do this, then you are not worthy of it and you may never participate again.
To put it bluntly: 'cry more N00B'.
Also, when a player asks for 'Obs' (An observer position) one is required to give it to him. Usually this means leaving at least 1 building alive. The lobbying for vision is optional but allying for a certain 'grace period' is mandatory. In order to win the game it is allowed to kill off observers if it is certain on your part that you have the upper hand.
It is required that players attempt to win. Shifting alliances, using backhand tricks – these things are applauded. Which will be made clear in the 'awards' section.
If you lack inspiration, I strongly recommend – nay, DEMAND
you to read this ancient Strategy Report by the hallowed Mattzarella who was a pioneer in FFA behaviorism:The FFA Effect: A Starcraft Strategy ReportVictory conditions
Person who can save the replay with the longest time on it wins. This usually means that the last person to leave the game wins. If for some reason replay times are exact, the person with the most points wins. which means that having an allied victory will only result in 1 winner. There can only be one player left standing. If by some act of Mark4 there is a tie in the scores, the winner will be decided by a 1v1.Awards
The motivation of each player is different. Some try to win, some try to take revenge, some are just too damned intoxicated to give a flying f-actory. For each case, there is a reward.The Golden Bengalaas:
Reward to the last player standing: the factual winner of the ~NH FFABalls Of Steel:
Stolen from Duke Nukem in the late nineties, these balls represent the gutsiest player of the ~NH FFA. Forgoing any sort of self preservation. This is usually the first player to attack and the first one to get taken out.Limburger Award:
A big block of stinking cheese is handed out to the player that used the most horrible opening build, (one that manages to actually do some intentional damage).Cockroach Award:
Rewarded with a dead cockroach nailed on a moldy piece of wood: The player who survives the longest without an operational mining base.Hitler Award:
A greasy square mustache is sent to the player that is in general, the most backstabbing, irritating and sleazy player.The Severed Thumbs-Up Award:
A dismembered thumb pointing upwards, attached to a small marble plaque is given to the player who tried, and failed miserably. The first person to leave the game.The Ninja Award:
A poison soaked shuriken is sent to the player who survived the longest with the least amount of unit deaths and loss of buildings. E.g. the one nobody noticed was there.The Caveman Award:
A blunt cudgel is thrown from a distance to the player who got bombarded to the stone age again and again. The player who had to rebuild his tech buildings all the way from the lowest level the most times.The Fallout Award:
The influence of Badme is forever among us. For some the pull is too strong. It warps them and transforms them into something that eventually can no longer be tolerated.
A compulsory weekend trip to Chernobyl is given to the players who nukes, incessantly and obsessively throughout the FFA for a minimum of 20 hits that do actual damage.The 'Blank' Award:
Each game has its own story. If a player does something amazing or amazingly stupid, a custom award can be given to him/her.Named Awards:
Awards given to those who become one with the myths of the NH FFA and for a brief moment equal the achievements of the titans before them.The Greth Award:
A reputation is a terrible thing to have. When people in FFAs get wind of your somewhat victorious nature in the field of politics and strategy (also known as backstabbing just when you really didn't need it) then they start getting a bit apprehensive when they see your army positioning itself in their main or only mining expansion.
It could lead to the wrong assumption that you are in fact trying to kill them. And these misunderstandings can lead to your defeat for all the wrong reasons.
In fact, your gallantry and self sacrifice has helped many a game become more enjoyable. Yet people always seem to turn against you at the end.
The award is given to the player who defeats the strongest player in the game, only to be the one to be taken out next.The Neobowman Award:
You're simply not cool if you get this one. Neo has been the scourge of the FFA scene since the beginning of time. He has always found ways to make people band together and scout him incessantly for he always finds something truly gay to busy himself with. It would be 'cute' and 'funny' if he didn't manage to win oh so often with it.
The award is given to the player who gets into the top 3 of the FFA by making the stupidest (combination of) units possible.The Badme Award:
Badme is a player of legend that would only have one purpose in a game: to nuke someone as fast as possible. This led to a general consensus among ~NH players. Badme was not to be tolerated. A tactic was devised, it was forged over the course of hundreds of games - a specific means to terminate badme with utmost precision.The actual tactic can be found in chapter 10 of the Mattz Bible of FFAs
and I will not disclose it here.
The award that is given to honour this strategy is simple: Get 3 or more people to ally against you personally, without any allies of your own.The Dagomar Award:
Dagomar is not unlike Badme, a demigod of ~NH. Dagomar can be seen as a sort of queer Canadian version of a Greek mythological creature. He's terrifying, and he'll sodomise you with horrendous tactics, but in the end all of his units are coated in a powder blue colour and you can help feel bad for him. He's the thing that will make you realise it's just a game, and sometimes people just spent too much time on it.
The award is presented to any combatant who qualifies for at least five of the listed awards - as dictated by the ~NH disciple Maareek.Achievements
These work differently from the current form found in games that aren't as good as Starcraft.
Generally this is a form of boasting.
At the start of the game, a player can make a claim or prediction. If that player achieves the set goal, he is awarded with the 'Bronze cock of cockiness'
– a bronze statue of a male chicken. Note however that setting a ridiculously easy goal such as 'mine 100 minerals' will result in all Bronze cocks being taken away. Silver and Golden Cocks remain unharmed. (This is decided by the players participating in the ~NH FFA).
5 Bronze Cocks: 1 Silver Cock
5 Silver Cocks: 1 Golden Cock = “The Ultimate Reward for Cockiness and Assholery”Achievement examples:
“I'm going to nuke 10 expansions”
“I'm going to infest 5 Command Centers”
“I'm going to kill PsyonicReaver with only workers”
“I'm going to have a 10 kill zergling”
“I'm going to nuke you with Protoss”
“I'm going to win with scouts”
Claims can only be made within the first 3 minutes of the game.In Closing
If you question the value of these rules, please take a look at the following reports, they are but a few of a great number found in the battlereports.com archive; I could post dozens:http://www.battlereports.com/viewreports.php?reportnum=6094http://www.battlereports.com/viewreports.php?reportnum=987http://www.battlereports.com/viewreports.php?reportnum=3489